I’ve told Caron this for several years, “I want you to come sing me to sleep every night.” I have never really cared for the phrase, “The voice of an angel.” Maybe because I never heard a voice that was, in my opinion, as beautiful as I imagine an angels to be. Well, that was before I met Caron. She seriously has the voice of an angel. It’s pure and beautiful and strong and moving. I. Love. Her. Voice. Now, of course none of this has to do with these pictures. I just wanted to put that out there.
Caron has told me for years that I would be shooting her wedding. She didn’t ask. She informed me. 🙂 Way before she even started dating her now husband Jeremy. And let me tell you, it was worth it. I’ll be sharing some of their actual wedding photos this weekend, but until then, please enjoy her bridal portraits!
[click photo to view larger]
Well, this started out as a status update but then became too lengthy so I thought… what the hell?
I’m feeling hurt and thankful today. Hurt by my thankfulness. Does that make sense? Are you ever so grateful about something that you feel undeserving? So undeserving that it hurts and kind of makes you feel bad? Well, that’s how I feel right now. Kinda resentful too. How ridiculous. I know it’s my own pride and insecurity that makes me feel this way. But I also think it’s the enemy aiming to drain me of my worth that is found in Jesus. Sorry, evil one, today you lose.
I’m feeling hurt and thankful. Thankful for each person who has ever chosen to forgive me. I’m feeling humbled as I look back at who I was. Selfish. Angry. Lustful. Dishonest. Resentful. Manipulative. Worse some years over others.
I have hurt a lot of people. Some unintentionally. Plenty on purpose. Some have forgiven me and others can’t or won’t.
A general apology will never cut it and I’ll try to make it right.
Don’t misunderstand. I’m not drowning in self-pity or sorrow. I do feel bad for who I was and plenty for who I still am. I suck on a regular basis. I’m not drowning because instead I am swimming in the grace of Jesus Christ.
Today I’m thankful for the scandal of grace.